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By: Chaya Sora Jungreis-Gertzulin
Twenty-two years passed since Yosef had last seen his family. Hard years. Years of slavery. Years of imprisonment. Yosef is now ready to reveal himself to his brothers. Through his words and deeds, he teaches us the art of forgiveness.
“Yosef could no longer restrain himself.” (Bereishis 45:1) The Or HaChaim explains that Yosef could no longer control his emotions and withhold his identity. The floodgates opened. Yosef couldn’t contain his tears any longer.
Yosef asks all the Egyptians to leave the area. Rashi teaches that he realized his brothers will be mortified when he identifies himself. He didn’t want the Egyptians to witness the scene that was about to unfold.
A lesson for us to learn. How careful we must be not to embarrass or shame someone publicly. How some words are better said privately.
“Vayitein es kolo b’vechi, And he (Yosef) wept aloud.” (Bereishis 45:2) The Torah is telling us that Yosef’s cry was so loud, so intense, that it was heard by the “beis Pharaoh, the household of Pharaoh”.
Yosef turns to his brothers with the infamous words, “Ani Yosef, I am Yosef. Ha’od avi chai, Is my father still alive?”
Words of soft rebuke. “My” father, not “our” father. Kli Yakar teaches that Yosef said “avi, my father” to make a point. “My” father, for I acted like a son, unlike my brothers. For if the brothers were truly concerned about their father’s well-being, they would never have caused him unimaginable pain by selling Yosef. Moreover, Sforno explains that by saying “is my father still alive”, Yosef is insinuating “how is my father doing, after so many years of worrying and not knowing of my whereabouts”.
Yosef made his point and stopped there. He didn’t go on and on, berating the brothers for their past actions. He didn’t raise his voice and speak out of anger. No words of revenge, no threats to his brothers that they will have to pay for their actions.
Yosef rises above all of that. He is Yosef HaTzadik. With kindness and compassion he sincerely tells the brothers that all which transpired is part of HaShem’s plan, that there is a reason for everything.
Instead of revenge, Yosef draws the brothers close. He tells them to bring their father, and move near him, settling in Goshen. There, he will be able to provide for them and their families.
Yosef then turns to his beloved younger brother, Binyamin, as they were both the only children of Rochel Imeinu. “And he (Yosef) fell upon Binyamin’s neck and wept, and Binyamin wept on his neck.” (Bereishis 45:14)
Two brothers with a most special relationship. Two brothers who felt each other’s pain. Two brothers that were one.
Rashi cites the Gemara in Megilla (16:2) that Yosef was crying for the two Batei Mikdash that were destined to be built in Binyamin’s territory, and eventually destroyed. Binyamin’s tears were for the mishkon in Shiloh that was destined to be built in Yosef’s portion, that too, only to be destroyed.
Two brothers. Apart for so many years. When they finally reunite, they cry not tears of joy, but weep about future destruction – each one shedding tears for the other’s loss.
Tears for a future destruction? Why? We know the Bais HaMikdash was destroyed as a result of sinas chinam, unwarranted, baseless hatred of one person towards another.
Perhaps the two were crying because they saw through Ruach HaKodesh that generations later, nothing would have changed. Although Yosef and Binyamin were hoping, davening, that the lessons would be learned, and that the past mistakes would not be repeated, they realized that the same jealousy and inability to fargin which led the brothers to sell Yosef into slavery, would surface again in the future. How painful it was for them to see a future where once again the villain of sinas chinam emerges, bringing untold suffering and exile to Klal Yisroel.
With their tears comes a message. Each one not only crying for the other’s loss, but placing his brother’s pain above his own.
Chazal teach that just as the Beis HaMikdash was destroyed because of sinas chinam, it will be rebuilt with ahavas chinam. By crying for each other, Yosef and Binyamin teach us what ahavas chinam is. To love for no reason – just because.
Yosef and Binyamin learned to cry from their mother, Rochel Imeinu. “Rochel mevakeh al bo’neh’ha, Rochel cries for her children.” Tears for her children who were destined to be exiled and scattered amongst the nations. Tears for the adversity, the hardships, torment, and even at times the atrocities that will befall them. Tears for her children who will become spiritually distant from HaShem, assimilating into the cultures and environment which they will find themselves in. Anguished tears for her children who cannot get along with one another.
Since the start of the war, hundreds of inspirational clips and stories have surfaced, all touching our neshamos.
As I think of Yosef and Binyamin, and the special bond they had with each another, a certain clip comes to mind. It is of Rabbi Yitzchak Dovid Grossman, one of the most well-known kiruv rabbis in Eretz Yisroel, visiting numerous army camps, delivering words of bracha and chizuk to the IDF.
Rabbi Grossman would address different groups of soldiers. Many were secular with bare heads. The chayalim would stand together, one placing his hand on the head of the soldier next to him, “covering” it while saying a tefilla.
And what was the tefilla? “Hareinu mekabel al atzmi mitzvas v’ahavta l’reiacha komacha, I accept upon myself the mitzva of loving my neighbor, my friend, as myself.”
The soldiers continued to say with Rabbi Grossman, that in that merit, HaShem should guide them and protect them.
How beautiful. How inspiring. Taking a step in the path of ahavas chinam, creating a brick for the third and final Bais HaMikdash. A final resting place for the Shechinah based on ahavas chinam.
Chazal teach that the forerunner of Moshiach ben Dovid will be Moshiach ben Yosef. While there are several explanations about the role of Moshiach ben Yosef, one may be that he comes to deliver the message of Yosef HaTzadik. Forgiveness. See the good. Do all you can to create a world of ahavas chinam. And with that, we will b’ezras HaShem merit to see Moshiach ben Dovid.
Shabbat Shalom!
Chaya Sora
Chaya Sora can reached at [email protected]
This article was written L’zecher Nishmas /In Memory Of HaRav Meshulem ben HaRav Osher Anshil HaLevi, zt”l and Rebbetzin Esther bas HaRav Avraham HaLevi, zt”l
