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1. Prayer Helps
We believe G‑d hears our prayers and listens to our requests. G‑d—and only G‑d—is in charge of our world, and our prayers help create real change. Give yourself time each day to pour your heart out to Him. Hand Him your burdens, and then allow yourself the space and peace to continue throughout your day.
From a psychological perspective, the act of prayer increases serotonin, the “happiness” neurotransmitter. It also can lower rates of depression and anxiety.1
Praying moves us away from flight or fight, and allows us to think rationally. Dr. Paul Hokemeyer, a marriage, family, and addictions therapist, explains, “When we sit down and engage in prayer or meditation, we are able to shift away from this frightened and stressed survival mode into an intentional state, and ultimately re-engage our prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that rules our executive functioning and enables us to make intelligent mindful decisions.”
As Jewish people, we believe that there is a preordained plan. Without G‑d and belief in His plan, a person will always struggle for a sense of control.
Ironically, giving up (the illusion of) control to G‑d, provides us with a feeling of control in our life.2 Dr. Lizzy Weisinger explains that one way to hand things over to G‑d is through intentional prayer. Part of that practice is taking that need for constant control off your plate. You can say, “Hey G‑d, You deal with this.” Or, “Hey, G‑d, I do not understand what is happening, but I know You have a grand plan.”
2. Control What You Can
Much of our fear and anxiety stems from feeling a lack of control. And while we cannot control global issues, we can control our attitudes and reactions.
- Choose a mitzvah to perform, and dedicate it to the safety of our people
- Write a letter of encouragement to an Israeli soldier or family member of an Israeli soldier.
- Donate to Israel and noteworthy causes. Any amount helps.
- Speak up and share the truth. Know your facts and be ready to defend them in the face of those who choose hatred.
A little bit of light banishes a lot of darkness; one small step in a positive direction can be that light.
3. Show Gratitude Regularly
Linda Stone, tech visionary and executive at Microsoft and Apple, was giving a presentation to high-level executives. During her talk, she displayed an experimental device that measured heart rate variability. It turned red when the person was experiencing high levels of stress, and flashed green when they calmed down.
She began her talk and attempted to show that her breathing techniques could lower stress, using the device as proof. It should have been a simple demonstration, but as she did one breathing exercise after another, the device stayed stubbornly red while she was on stage.
She looked around the audience and took a moment to express her appreciation to those in the crowd who had helped her.
As she said her thank yous, the audience called out, “It’s flashing green!” Expressing gratitude had changed her body’s responses more profoundly than any breathing technique could.3
Jewish practice is laced with opportunities for gratitude. Upon rising in the morning, the first words we utter are, Modeh Ani, “Thank You.” We have hundreds of blessings at our disposal with which we thank G‑d, and even the name for the Jewish people stems from hodaya, the Hebrew word for gratitude.
Taking regular stock of the multitude of blessings in our lives is an easy and important tool for healthy thinking. Keeping a gratitude journal or jotting down things to be grateful for each day is a great way to keep the bigger picture in focus. No matter how challenging the situation, we can always find something to say thank you for, thereby lifting our spirits and the spirits of those around us.
4. Thank G‑d for the Bad
When we thank G‑d for bad, we humble ourselves and admit that G‑d has a master plan, one that we may not be privy to. Although counterintuitive, I find this tool to be extremely effective.
We were in Israel when the war broke out. My family rushed to the bomb shelter several times in the span of a few hours. We tried to make it fun for the kids (ages 2-16) by playing cards and bringing snacks, but it was hard to mask our fear.
After running to the bomb shelter six times, I quietly began to whisper thanks to G‑d. I said, “G‑d, I know You are the Master of the universe and you know what’s best, so I am thanking You even though I don’t understand.” Just saying these words gave me comfort, and I was able to put on a positive face for my young children.
When we put this into practice, another shift takes place: we begin to see more good in our daily experiences.
5. Know Your (Family) History
The Jewish nation is a resilient one. Our ancestors have faced unfathomable atrocities, and yet have had the courage and strength to rebuild.
Researchers4 at Emory University discovered that children who knew more stories about their family history displayed greater emotional well-being. They felt better about their identity, and the more they heard that their family went through hardship and thrived, the better adjusted they were.
Autonomy comes from feeling that you matter, you have a purpose and a place, and without you, your family would miss you.
We do this on a national level on most Jewish holidays, and every time we talk about our extended Jewish family, all the way back to Mount Sinai. Most of Jewish history boils down to this: As a nation, we have experienced difficult times. And with G‑d’s help, we overcame our struggles again and again.
When you hear this, you realize you are needed. You’re a vital piece of the puzzle going back thousands of years.
6. Find a Way to Give
The news lately is filled with stories that can emotionally paralyze you. But there are also hundreds of beautiful stories of organizations and individuals who are standing with the Jewish people and Israel. Focusing on these stories can provide light and hope. For example, Novellus Restaurant in St. Charles, Missouri, koshered their kitchen for one day and donated all proceeds earned that day directly to Israel.
Elsewhere, citizens and teenagers have gathered stunning amounts of supplies for soldiers in Israel.
We, too, can fight the darkness by finding someone or some organization to give to. Either with financial aid, volunteerism, or even sharing potential opportunities.
Dr. Weisinger explains that when we’re anxious, we become stuck in our own minds, which feels very isolating. When we step outside ourselves and do things for others we feel accomplished and productive.
When we find ourselves drowning in the current waves of chaos and stress, channel that anxiety into something positive, and with G‑d’s help, Israel and the Jewish people will reap those rewards.
