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Thursday, March 28, 2024

Obscene Money Settles in the Hamptons

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Reporting and photos: Lieba Nesis

The Hamptons continues to be a playground for the super wealthy despite the pandemic. I was a bit apprehensive as to what to expect during my first weekend since coronavirus in this wealthy enclave. Thursday evening, August 13th, I arrived on the Jitney which cost $41 and promised a sanitized and safe environment. Masks were required and monetary payment accepted before arriving on the bus, otherwise there were few noticeable changes, other than the monitor announcing those who failed to adhere would be booted. There were no temperature checks, no hand wipes apparent and 38 out of 52 seats occupied. Snacks comprised of pretzels and party mix were nowhere to be found, and there was a general sense of gloom-reminiscent of my miserable jury duty experience. I was praying this wasn’t a harbinger for the weekend, as I arrived at my $600 a night Southampton hotel. Hamptons hotels are uniquely notorious for charging exorbitant prices for Holiday Inn types of rooms with prices beginning in the $600’s and reaching $1,500. Typical prices for the upcoming weekend include $2,445 for two nights in East Hampton’s Maidstone or $2,508 for Journey East Hampton-two modest edifices with Ritz Paris prices.

Town of South Hampton

Dozens of articles have been written documenting the early exodus of the well heeled to the Hamptons as close to 100,000 new occupants encamped to this suburb in early March for the indefinite future. I observed firsthand the vast numbers of people streaming through main street the entire day. Restaurant reservations were a near impossibility to secure and dozens of outdoor spaces had lines of eager diners. According to Eater magazine restaurants normally not equipped for takeout and outdoor dining are seeing a surge in sales with Calissa in Water Mill doing five times as well then when they first launched. In fact intrepid restaurateurs have recently unveiled new establishments such as Main Street Tavern in Amagansett, Naia in Southampton, and Kissaki in Water Mill. Bridgehampton Greek restaurant Elaia reported to-go orders surging from twelve a week to hundreds-availing itself of this once in a lifetime opportunity by opening a retail area selling olive oil and honey. While Hamptonites might be abstaining from costly clothing purchases due to limited socialization-olive oil and honey are undeniably budget friendly.

 

A well stocked Citarella

One of my favorite eateries, largely for its delectable zucchini chips, is celebrity haunt Nick and Toni’s, located at 136 Main Street in East Hampton. Thursday evening I took a $60 uber ride there without a reservation-I was told there was over an hour wait. Upon leaving I bumped into owner Toni Ross, who embarrassingly confided she too had been denied a table due to the limited availability with social distancing requirements in place. Heading across the street to the widely acclaimed East Hampton Grill, where the wait was similarly onerous, I settled into the less popular Serafina’s across the street. The Hamptons has 50% indoor seating capacity so I was able to enjoy a meal inside-something I haven’t experienced in six months. Most Hamptonites view indoor dining as favorable as Siberia but I welcomed it as a brief respite from the outdoor humidity. Another notable difference compared to New York City includes a mask mandate on Hamptons streets making it nearly impossible to recognize familiar faces-allowing high profile figures a degree of anonymity.

Dockers Restaurant in Westhampton

Town on Friday was packed all hours of the afternoon. It felt like an idyllic bubble. Despite the hardships of the pandemic everyone seemed in good spirits with an atypical camaraderie and joy abounding. The peace of mind of relaxing with one’s family without the undue pressure of heading to the next party or running to a charity gala might be a partial explanation. With most galas being held over Zoom or in small groups of ten outdoors, the party scene has been “virtually” (no pun intended) nonexistent. Moreover, the vulnerability and uncertainty the entire world has faced has led to a certain ubiquitous humbleness. Forced relaxation and strengthened familial connections might be some positive outcomes of this disaster. The streets in Southampton were closed Friday and Saturday night allowing crowds to roam without traffic. However, by 11 PM everyone had headed home. The shopkeepers at Citarella said this year has been less busy with some fearful of buying outside food or leaving their house; the New York Post recently reported billionaire wife Julia Koch has remained a hermit inside her Southampton palace the entirety of the summer due to Covid. As schools fill up and rentals become year round people are in the Hamptons for the long haul. A phenomenon known as “compounding” , where people buy multiple ten million dollar homes on the same block for their family, has been reported by brokers. While others hoard toilet paper these financiers grab homes.

CEO of Time Equities Francis Greenburger-one of the mega-moguls who resides in the Hamptons and owns over 32 million square feet of Real Estate

How will these one percenters commute during the year? Not to worry, Business Insider reported that for the first time Blade helicopters has introduced a day commuter pass for September which costs $1,000 a month and $600 round trip, far cheaper than the normal $1,600 round trip. The company has sold over 120 passes in the past 24 hours. The amount of money in the small 118 miles known as the Hamptons is staggering. Before I left I ran to Citarella to grab a coffee as the slovenly man in front of me left with a moderate stack of groceries. “How much I asked?” “700 hundred dollars he replied”-a drop in the bucket for a place where the median price of a single family home is over $1.1 million.

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