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Thursday, March 28, 2024

SHEMOT – It’s All About The Name

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Bay Parkway and 86th Street in the Bensonhurst section of Brooklyn (circa 1940). This neighborhood was home to many newly arrived Syrian Jews.

Last week, we concluded the first book of the Torah, the book of Bereshit or Genesis. Bereshit is predominantly the story of a family, of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and of Jacob’s children. They are the family of Israel (Jacob’s other name is Israel) who descend down to Egypt.  This week we begin the second book of the Torah, the book of Shemot. In English, this second book is called Exodus and tells  the story of the development of a nation. The Benai Yisrael, the children of Jacob who came down to Egypt become the nation of Israel and emerge from their servitude to receive the Torah and build the Mishkan on their march to the land G-d promised to their forefathers.

Shemot though in English actually translates to “names” from the verse, “And these are the name of the children of Israel who are coming to Egypt”. We are told their names as Genesis ends and we are told their names as Shemot begins. Strangely enough the Midrash returning to the subject of names, relates that when they were finally redeemed from Egypt, it was in the merit of four virtues. The first merit mentioned is that they didn’t change their names. This is typically taken literally meaning they kept their Hebrew names and did not take on Egyptian names. An alternative translation of shemot might be reputation. Following this thought we might understand that they were redeemed because they maintained their good reputation.

One of the most repeated phrases my father drummed into us was the first half of the first verse of the seventh chapter of Kohelet. “Tov shem, mishemen tov … ” meaning, “better a good name or reputation than expensive oil”. My dad would explain that the greatest asset we had was our good name and if we honored it, that name would serve us better than money ever could. My dad, as usual, was right. So often in my life, my name opened doors and brought lots of payback to those who came before me. It is experiencing in real time what we call zechut avot or being rewarded in the merit of our ancestors.

Last Wednesday on the Yahrzeit of my grandmother Esther Bibi, I gave a class and closed it by relating a story from 1989 on the value of a good name. It was July 4th weekend, and we had just moved into our house in Atlantic Beach. On one of our regular trips to Europe, Chantelle had bought a mini bed for Jonah who was going to be two. When we moved into the house and the bed was delivered, we realized that there were no standard mattresses for this bed.

With the dimensions in hand, I drove to a mattress store on Rockaway Turnpike and met an elderly man. I explained the dilemma and he told me that this was going to be a very expensive venture. He then asked me my name. When I told him, he asked if I was related to an Esther Bibi from Bensonhurst. “She was my grandmother and she just passed away in December”, I replied. He took of his glasses, rubbed his eyes and a bit choked up; he told me the following.

“It was 1933 and I was 19 years old and working as a delivery person. It was the depression and I was lucky to have a job, though the hard work especially in the summer often left me exhausted. The boxes were heavy and everyone was demanding and unappreciative. It’s hard for you to imagine how tough things were. People really didn’t even have enough to eat. We could go all day, from house to house and we were lucky to get a glass of water. Tips were almost unheard of.

“I remember the day. It was late Thursday afternoon, almost evening and unusually hot for May. There were two of us making deliveries that afternoon. We came to a big house. It was right off Bay Parkway on 21st Avenue and the house spanned the entire block between 62nd and 63rd Street. The house was filled with kids and there were six or seven of them having dinner. We thought that Mrs. Bibi was an older sister and we were shocked when they all called her mom. She couldn’t have been thirty.

After we brought in all the boxes, she asked us if we wanted something to drink. We told her that would be great as we hadn’t stopped for anything since 8 in the morning. She invited us to sit for a moment at the table as the younger kids vacated their spots. It was good to take a load off our feet. A moment later she set two plates of food in front of us. We were embarrassed because we thought she would be simply giving us water. But our empty stomachs were not too embarrassed to eat.  We were starved and so appreciative.

“We were speaking with a couple of the older kids and Mrs. Bibi asked where we lived and how our families were managing during these difficult times. I told her that we lived in the neighborhood and we were OK, but I was worried as I was getting married on Sunday. We were going to live in a small apartment in the basement of my bride’s parent’s home. My folks had given us linens and towels and she had a set of dishes and silverware from her grandmother. My bride really wanted a set of pots and pans and I felt badly as I really couldn’t afford them and would have loved to give them to her.

“Mrs. Bibi told me to have faith, continue to work hard and everything would fall into place. She was sure that things would get better. She asked me where we were getting married and she wished me the best of luck.

“We walked out of there commenting on what a lovely lady she was and what a nice family she has.

“On Sunday, I arrived at the wedding hall. There were some boxes that had arrived earlier in the morning with a note. The boxes had a new set of pots and pans. And the note was from Esther and Reuben Bibi wishing us the best of luck and telling us to always have a positive attitude and to be there for each other and to always have faith as everything always works out for the best.

“That was 56 years ago this May. I am still married to my wonderful wife. We were blessed with a beautiful family and I will never forget your grandmother and what joy she brought to a real stranger.

“For the grandson of Mrs. Esther Bibi, the custom mattress will be on the house. It’s my gift to you and your child. Although I am meeting you for the first time I am so sure that the kindness she and her family showed me that day, you as her grandchild and the baby, her great-grandchild, who will get this mattress will continue to show to others. I am only sorry that she passed away as I would have loved to see her and thank her in person.”

I was speechless.

Later I realized that if he only knew that the story he just told me would be more valuable than any mattress could ever be.

These are the names; this is the reputation, of the children of Israel who came to Egypt. Better a good name than good oil. This is a lesson my father taught us again and again. And it’s a lesson which we must repeat to our children, again and again.

Rabbi David Bibi

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