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Thursday, March 28, 2024

Parshat Bo – Controlling Time and Appreciating Every Moment

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Rabbi David Bibi is the Rabbi of the Sephardic Congregation of Long Beach and has taught in many community Synagogues. He has written and edited a weekly newsletter “Shabbat Shalom from Cyberspace” for 19 years, and can be reached at DavidBibi@gmail.com.Rabbi Abittan z’sl, whose Yahrzeit is this week, would tell us that the day is fast approaching when we should no longer say, “Abal, 120 years” or “May you be blessed with 120 years”. We see more and more people living productive lives into their late 90’s and regularly see people joining the centenarian club. Both Rav Shach and Rav Scheinberg were still working after their 100th birthday and Haham Ovadia passing away at 93 was somewhat of a shock. I notice that some people reading Tefilah LeMoshe aloud each Shabbat lower their voice when reading that the days of man are seventy years and with strength eighty years. So when I attended a funeral for a woman who passed away before reaching her 70th birthday, it was in many ways a tragedy to lose someone at what we would call today, a relatively young age.

And as sad as a day it was, the funeral was not sad in the way one might imagine. The funeral was inspirational.

Rashi’s first comment on the Torah cites that the Torah should have begun with “the first mitzvah commanded to all of Jewry as a nation, the mitzvah of kiddush haChodesh.” He refers to the portion we read this week which really details the birth of the Jewish people as a chosen people and nation of G-d and the Torah as a book of Laws.

We learn from this portion and the specific verse of HaChodesh HaZeh Lachem, “this month is for you”, the concept of the Jewish nation having the power to set the calendar. One must understand that we are not talking about mere dates. Our calendar directs a physical and spiritual flow of time. And control of this through the declaration of the new moon and of leap years was specifically given to the Jewish nation. We decide which day will have the holiness of Yom Kippur, which day we will celebrate Pesach ridding our homes from Chametz and eating Matzah. G-d is in essence telling us that before everything in life, before any misvot, before we leave Egypt, we must realize something; time is in our hands.

One might think that at a funeral we would walk away with exactly the opposite message alluding to the fact that time is not in our hands at all. And that’s why I found this funeral inspiring.

Rabbi Mansour suggested that many in the secular world would say that Diane Azrak Massry passed away before her time. He assured those that came to pay their respects that morning that everything occurs at its time. And he guaranteed that based on his conversations with Diane that she understood this. We heard about a woman who valued each and every moment in her life and lived every day to its fullest. The rabbis tell us that our ancestors Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, Sarah, Rivkah, Rachel and Leah were able to leave this world with their years and their days as each day was precious.

As I sat there listening to Rabbi Sutton, Rabbi Malka, her son Adam and her grandson speak only a few days after we read the opening portion of Shemot, I was reminded of the words of Rabbi Sacks. Our Exodus begins with the birth and stories of Moses, but “the Torah is a deep and subtle book, and it does not always deliver its message on the surface. Just beneath is another and far more remarkable story, not about a hero but about six heroines, six courageous women without whom there would not have been a Moses.”

We say that behind every great man, there is a great woman, but it’s usually more than one woman.

Those who spoke of Diane, spoke of a woman who was an incredible mother finding a specific and different connection with each of her children and grandchildren, adjusting her interest and conversation to what was important to them. I recalled Yocheved, the mother of Moshe who must make very difficult decisions but always with her children’s interests at the forefront.

They spoke of a woman who became a matriarch to her siblings. One is easily reminded of Miriam, the prophetess who follows the basket of her brother and approaches Batya, the daughter of Pharaoh and suggests to the princess that a Hebrew woman, her own mother, might be called to nurse the child.

Diane became a mother and grandmother to her husband Louie’s family. They lost their mother and grandmother some years back and one of the rabbis mentioned how one of Louie’s grandchildren was crying in school because his “grandmother” Diane passed away. We understand this adoptive love through Batya who adopted Moses and we see how G-d looked upon this adoption. Of all the names we have for Moses, we use the name Batya gave him, evermore.

The Torah tells of the midwives. Shifra was the one who beautified the children and Diane beautified her environment and all those around her. It’s an amazing thing when a grandson doesn’t want to go clothing shopping without his grandmother.

The Torah tells of Puah who soothed and comforted the babies. Diane brought comfort to all around her. No matter how sick, she never complained. No matter how sick, she never focused on hers elf. She served those who came to visit and blessed them.

And I leave to last the sixth. Like Ziporah, the wife of Moses’ wife, the daughter of a Midianite priest, who was determined to accompany Moses on his mission to Egypt, despite the fact that she had no reason to risk her life on such a hazardous venture. It is she who, at a crucial moment, has a better sense than Moses himself of what God requires when she circumcises her son saving her husband’s life. I have tremendous Hakarat HaTov to her first husband Marvin who I can listen to for hours. It was Marvin who helped my cousin Morris and me to know our uncle Jimmy Azrak who was his uncle too. We never knew Jimmy and it was Marvin who filled in the blanks allowing us to see a picture of a very special person. One might expect a man divorced to speak ill of his wife, but Marvin only praised Diane for the special person she was. And my Hakarot HaTov is even greater towards Lou Massry who with his brother has encouraged me and strengthened me always in following a path to teach and explain Torah. My heart goes out to him after experiencing this loss, not once in his life, but twice. He cared for her with everything a person has. He lifted her spiritually. We pray that Hashem will comfort him and the entire family.

When I write and teach, I guess I take on the role of Rabbi. I keep the certificate by my desk to remind me. But for much of my day, I’m usually the guy who made someone’s furniture. People interact with a rabbi in one way; often with a nice façade. But to the furniture maker, it’s very different. We’re like the plumber, the painter or even the housekeeper. We see what people are really like. The rabbi’s tell us a person reveals himself through his pocket, his cup (through drinking too much) or his anger. We can add another. When someone’s doing a house, going through the pressures of change orders, delays, personalities, mistakes and unrealized expectations, you meet the real person. What I write is what I know. Diane Azrak Massry was a very special lady. Tehi nafsha Serurah Be’Sror HaChayim.

Rav Avraham Pam, z’sl writes: A Jew knows that his life has a profound purpose and his soul has descended from beneath the Heavenly Throne to this earth to accomplish a mission only he can fulfill. For that mission he is allotted a certain amount of time to achieve his task. Whatever he accomplishes in his life on this earth will be what must sustain his soul for all eternity. Every day of one’s life carries the potential to be filled with great accomplishments.

May we all be blessed to never waste time, to never kill time and to use every moment, every hour and every day as best as we can. Life is precious as long as we appreciate every moment.

Shabbat Shalom

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